Years ago, I used to work at the Apple Store behind the Genius Bar. To this day, it was one of my favorite places to work. As an Apple enthusiast, being certified to fix Macs and iPhones was a dream come true. At the same time, something I quickly learned was how taxing of a job it was to be a "Genius." If you think about it, nobody ever comes to the Genius Bar just for fun. It's the place you go when you're having a problem. And this is where the secret sauce is for Apple customer service. The staff aren't just computer technicians. They're heavily trained in listening to real people experiencing frustrating problems. During my time at Apple, I witnessed a wide range of emotions. A mom who was on the verge of tears because her computer broke and she didn't have a backup of any of their family photos from the past 10 years. A college student who was knee-deep into finals week and had to suddenly drop everything because they spilled water all over their laptop. These are just two small examples of the hundreds of people I got the chance to work with. In situations like this, technical skills and being able to problem-solve aren't the first priority. We were taught to be human first. In this week's reading of _Validation_ by Caroline Fleck, we learned about the first rung of the validation ladder, which is _Attending_. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, this was a skill I used all the time when I worked at Apple. Attending to the person in front of you is essentially making them feel that you're listening and understanding the depth of what they're saying. As the book puts it, "Paying attention and demonstrating that you’re paying attention are not the same thing." So how does one demonstrate that they're actually paying attention? A technique I really enjoyed learning from this chapter was the "A game." The goal when playing the game is to help the other person fill in the blanks and construct a better understanding of what is happening. This shows you're invested. We can do this by asking ourselves, "What's a better way of making this point?" and "Why does this matter to them?" Combine this with some nonverbals such as nodding and eye contact, and the results will speak for themselves. This reminds me of a different technique I learned while working in the world of customer service: Acknowledge, Align, Assure. Before jumping into a fix, it's important to acknowledge the emotion being experienced (usually frustration). Then, it's also important to align yourself with the customer and show empathy. It's not me versus you. It's us versus the problem. Last, assuring the human in front of you that you're personally invested and committed to helping them is what builds a real connection. I'd love to hear from you. Has there been a time when you attended to somebody going through a challenging time and used these validation skills? Reply and let me know. --- Related Notes: - [[2026 Book Club Emails]] - [[The 8 levels of the validation ladder]] - [[Validation How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life]] This note was originally created on **April 11, 2026**.