[[Marriage & Family Therapy]] Splitting - All good or bad mentality - Unable to hold both feelings at the same time Projective identification - a reenactment sequence in which unresolved themes from childhood are played out between partners - Emotions we felt during childhood live with us into adulthood (abandonment, shame, etc) - You suffered abandonment as a child so you fear your partner is going to do that to you esteem and soothing - esteem is built through internalization of early relationships with caregivers (objects) - soothing is a process of emotional regulation learned from consistently being soothed by a caregiver