In EFT, there are a limited number of primary emotions, but they can show up in an infinite number of ways. Ultimately, it boils down to these: # Fear Fear of... - Abandonment - Being rejected - Being alone - Not mattering - Being too much or not good enough This can be best summarized as **feat of loss of connection.** # Sadness/Grief This is one step beyond fear. Instead of being afraid, it has already happened. Fear is “I might lose you.” Sadness is “I already have.” # Shame Shame as a primary emotion shows up as "if you see the real me, you won't want to stay." It can often show up is not being deserving of love. # Longing/Need This one is a bit more subtle, but I see it. It's the feeling of wanting to be desired. It can show up as needing reassurance, needing to know I matter to you, etc. Be careful, because this can be easily mixed up with fear. There is a subtle difference. Fear is more protective, "I might lose you". Longing is more vulnerable, "I need you." # Secondary Emotions Be cautious of these secondary emotions. They are a sign you still have some digging to do or need to unpack them more. - Disappointment: often a blend of sadness/fear/longing - Resentment: this sits on top of the primary emotions, there's more to it Also, if your client is talking with a lot of energy and stories, it means you are still in the level of secondary emotions. Primary emotions are risky, uncertain, and slower pace. >[!info] A quick shortcut you can use in session: Is this person afraid, sad, ashamed, or longing? Related Notes: - [[Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)]]