Congruence is a core goal of [[The (Virginia) Satir Model for family therapy]]. The idea is rather simple, being congruent is when your feelings, words, and thoughts are all in sync. When someone is congruent, they are authentic, self-aware, and balanced in how they relate to others and themselves. Incongruence occurs when what you're saying doesn't match what you're feeling. - [[The Five Communication Stances]] are results of incongruence (with the exception of leveler, which is the goal) Some examples: In therapy, a congruent person might say: > _“I’m feeling anxious about talking to you, but I really want to work this out.”_ Whereas someone incongruent might smile and say: > _“I’m fine”_ — while their body is tense and eyes are avoiding contact.