Differentiation of self is THE central part of [[Bowen Family Therapy]]. There are two key components: ## Self-definition - Togetherness (sense of belonging) and individuality (sense of independence) - The ideal is not to be at either end of these extremes, but rather find a balance between both  - External vs internal ## Self-regulation  - Two guidance systems of feelings (emotions, urges) and intellectual (logic, thinking) - Again, the ideal is to find a balance of both, NOT to be fully intellectual or fully emotional  - Internal vs intrapsychic  --- Our level of differentiation is heavily influenced by our family of origin (FOO) - Notably, our differentiation level is set at the time we leave our home - This is a major life event in Bowen's theory  - Unless we actively try working on it, this level of differentiation will carry forward into our future relationships  The less a family differentiates from each other, the more fused the Family Emotional Process becomes  - Family emotional process and pattern is often passed through generations