## Fear of rejection - Being scared of damaging your relationship or losing a friend - Remember: - Your hurt/disappointed/whatever feelings are valid - Not saying something will lead to resentment - You owe the other chance to fix it, and if they don’t, well, that says a lot, too ## Fear of punishment - The person has power over you (aka manager/boss) and you fear the retaliation that might occur - But what if that punishment never comes? What if we stop ourselves from saying something in fear of a phantom consequence? ## Fear of hurting feelings - You are not responsible for other people’s feelings - You are not responsible for other people’s reactions - You are responsible for YOUR feelings and doing something about them - It’s tempting to want to supervise somebody else’s emotions for a sense of control, but that’s just not how it works ## Fear of getting it wrong - Fear of saying it wrong, not having a good delivery, or being misunderstood - Remember, there’s no such thing as getting it right - Even if you say it perfectly well, that can still be subjective and not seen as right to somebody else - Take the pressure off yourself, even if you say the thing with a weak delivery, it’d okay. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, nervous, etc. Heck, you can even bring that into the conversation! “I’m feeling nervous, but I just need to say…” ## Fear of bad timing - You can say things too early, but it’s never too late to bring something up - “I’ve had time to think about things about our last conversation, and I just need to say…” - There are a few times when you should probably wait before talking: - You are emotionally flooded or overwhelmed - You are on the receiving end of feedback, just listen, even if you have something to say that is valid, saying it then will come off as defensivness - You are in danger, staying silent is better in these moments --- ## Context - [[Professional Troublemaker]] ## Relevant Notes - [[Marriage & Family Therapy]] - [[Life Lessons]]